Nothing

"Okay Morales, what do you feel?" And I said "Nothing, I'm feeling nothing".
My mother-in-law recently noticed I hadn't written a blog post for a while. Generally writing comes to me when I am in the heat of emotion. Lately I feel the most deadening nothing. The American election? Nothing. World terrorism? Nothing. The re-rise of anti-semitism? Nothing. The majority's indifference or denial of the re-rise of anti-semitism? Nothing. The rising cost of life? Nothing.
This afternoon, a mother of one of the children I am teaching came into my classroom demanding in Hebrew if her child was progressing in English. Let's skip over the irony for a moment. I am the teacher, the adult , the professional. But I sank and became, the subordinate, a frightened child and extremely unprofessional. Let me give you a frame of reference. The philosophy of my place of employment is teaching a language immersion style. This means only using the language you are teaching. They also pay very poorly, but I took the job. I have integrity even if my entire salary is funneling into child care and even if I feel that most of the kids don't really want to be there. Sometimes I feel like a glorified English speaking babysitter who is being forced to speak broken Hebrew to her little charges. Anyway, I fumbled and jumbled to this mother in Hebrew and scurried to assign some homework. Then I got called into my boss's office and she requested I speak to the mother. Between my English and my husbands Hebrew we proceeded to explain that her child is weak student and compensates for it by being a bully...
I don't know what happened afterward. I feel the most bottomless nothing.