Echo Chamber

Recently my husband and I decided over coffee that entitlement, validation and victimization are the greatest idolatry of the times we are living in. That's not to say that people's feelings and experiences aren't legitimate, but rather while we spend all this time talking about "naratives" and "the dialogue", all we are really interested in is the "soliloquy" or "monologue". We don't really listen to eachother, we are constantly thinking of our next commentary. We create echo chambers for ourselves both on and off the internet and further abuse the internet as our own personal soapbox.
Take for example three different scenarios. The first, a well known rabbi and creator of an institution makes a Tisha B'Av speech in response to a viral FB video about abuse in the Jewish community. The said video was powerful and was simply put out there to create awareness and open the dialogue for change and improvement of a destructive situation in our community. It was made by a young man who was a survivor of abuse.   For those not familiar, Tisha B'Av speeches are by definition strong and a call to self examination. A young woman who unfortunately was a victim....no wait let me rephrase that a survivor of abuse, a warrior and  a spokesperson for child victims of abuse took the rabbi's words personally and.....out of context. Let's be honest, she  and many others are just not in that place. And the rabbis message while well intentioned, was possibly not worded and expressed with that best judgement and sensitivity. This young woman then went on to make a FB post on Jewish Community Watch. The sole purpose of this group is to expose abusers and provide an outlet for survivors of abuse. In her post she dissects what she sees as the faults of 3 minutes of an hour long speech. The 100s of responses from many people who have never even heard of this rabbi spiraled so out of control that by the end of this thread this rabbi was suddenly an abuser himself and hiding something?! Needless to say, his response which was supposed to be an apology came off as defensive and a list of his merits in helping victims of abuse. I realize that humility is a virtue but what would you do?
The second example, a young woman is new to a country and got caught doing something she didn't realize was illegal. There are a lot of details to this story such as that she didn't realize what she did was illegal (she didn't know she was supposed to validate a monthly bus pass each time she enters the bus or train. She was caught and subsequently fined), she felt that she was a first time offender and should have had warning, she felt her so called crime wasn't really a crime as she had already paid for her monthly pass and THATS IT and now she is refusing to pay the fine and willing to pay up to 10x the fine to a lawyer ON PRINCIPLE, TO PROVE A POINT. She posted on a FB group seeking sympathy. Ok I think she really wanted to know what the consequences of her not paying the fine were, but when people told her the consequences and nicely tried to explain the transport system and that maybe she should just pay the fine and move on.....she cursed each and every one of them out in the most vile, furious manner. This post led to other posts etc. If you don't really want advice, why pretend to seek it on the internet?
The final scenario I am going to be a bit more vague on. I am in a FB group which is dedicated to things of more frivolous nature, yet necessary and healthy in theory to the wellbeing of many women. A woman in the group politely posted a question regarding whether something would be PC or rude to do. Many responded and likewise a friend of mine responded. My friends response was the opposite of everybody else, but was based with great sensitivity on her own life experiences and the life experiences of many others with whom she is friends or acquaintances. I want to add, my friend G-d bless her is not subtle, her actual vocal volume is quiet, but she expresses her self with strength and conviction. Many people chose to be offended and rather than listen, added there own barrage of commentary. The negative cycle that resulted was so sad. My friend if you are reading this, I am keeping this vague because I respect you and your privacy and because I am big enough to admit that I can never really known the depth of your experiences enough to write about them. And also in keeping this vague I am in no way trying to minimize what happened and its results.
People of the world, the internet is not our soapbox, we are not all dictators of our own little city states. It's wonderful to express your opinions and it's wonderful to push for change, but if somebody doesn't agree it's an opportunity for growth, an opportunity for listening, an opportunity for dialogue. DIALOGUE!
Typed words can hurt and destroy. Choose them carefully. Life is precious, people created B'tzelem Elokim (in G-d's image) are precious. Love to the possibly 5 people who read my blog, 4 whom might be family.

Indoor Voice

I have tried a handful of times to teach my students in summer camp about "indoor/outdoor voices". It doesn't work and not just because it doesn't translate well into Hebrew but more importantly it doesn't translate well into the Israeli culture. There is one way to speak in this country and its at the top of your lungs!
Yesterday I experienced a proverbial electrical shortage where my anxiety and ADD ridden brain did not process the Israeli culture I am living in. My brain was also overloaded from a morning full of healthy, boisterous 10 year olds and my own personal stresses. My electrical circuit burst. I behaved and spoke in a way that was for me regrettable in a professional situation. While I am doing much better today, I still haven't fully forgiven myself.
The question arises in me, how do we balance the many facets of our life, mental health and make up, surrounding stresses whether they be personal, cultural, professional...our responsibilities to G-d, our family, our job, our world. And how do we forgive ourselves for being infinitely far away from perfection and getting it right.
I don't have an answer but maybe asking these questions is the first step.